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public service announcement: don't see Hulk
Went and saw Hulk with Megan last night. My god, that is a bad movie. Plain bad.
Although it did have one brilliant bit of dialogue:
"Penetration negative, sir!"
"Dammit, drill him harder!"
I don't really remember the context, but I'm pretty confident I wasn't the only one who thought that was dirty. (And... is it really a good idea for anyone to be trying to penetrate the Hulk?)
Most of the other good dialogue bits were exchanged between me and Megan, such as "I think the Hulk just mooed" (he did! we both heard it!) and "Death poodle! Death poodle!"
Other interesting bits about the movie... definitely one climactic battle scene too many, really irritating style intended to pay homage to the comic-book form (more on this later), lots of pretty landscape ("I think that must be Utah. Maybe he's going to go freak out some Mormons."), destruction of said landscape (we objected much more vehemently to the destruction of irreplaceable, utterly unique rock structures that have no parallel anywhere else in the world than we did to the destruction of major characters), large numbers of attack helicopters. Too many attack helicopters, really.
The comic-book style thing: they kept splitting the screen into panels. Look, it makes sense in the context of a comic book, okay? It's reasonable, when you're dealing with static pictures, to have the left panel show the guards entering the cell and the right panel show them dragging the Hulk's father through the door, because no matter how long you look at the left panel you're not going to see the prisoner come in. But look, in a movie, just wait ten seconds! Also, it drove Megan and me utterly insane. ("What's with the picture-in-picture?" "It's that whole comic-book thing." "Ohhh... well, it's pissing me off." "Yeah, I hate the split-screen stuff." (screen suddenly splits into 5 parts) "It heard us! It heard us!")
Anyway. Overall, the most consistently incoherent movie I have ever seen. Terrible. Do not, I repeat, do not, go see this movie. You will regret it deeply. And that is all for now.
Although it did have one brilliant bit of dialogue:
"Penetration negative, sir!"
"Dammit, drill him harder!"
I don't really remember the context, but I'm pretty confident I wasn't the only one who thought that was dirty. (And... is it really a good idea for anyone to be trying to penetrate the Hulk?)
Most of the other good dialogue bits were exchanged between me and Megan, such as "I think the Hulk just mooed" (he did! we both heard it!) and "Death poodle! Death poodle!"
Other interesting bits about the movie... definitely one climactic battle scene too many, really irritating style intended to pay homage to the comic-book form (more on this later), lots of pretty landscape ("I think that must be Utah. Maybe he's going to go freak out some Mormons."), destruction of said landscape (we objected much more vehemently to the destruction of irreplaceable, utterly unique rock structures that have no parallel anywhere else in the world than we did to the destruction of major characters), large numbers of attack helicopters. Too many attack helicopters, really.
The comic-book style thing: they kept splitting the screen into panels. Look, it makes sense in the context of a comic book, okay? It's reasonable, when you're dealing with static pictures, to have the left panel show the guards entering the cell and the right panel show them dragging the Hulk's father through the door, because no matter how long you look at the left panel you're not going to see the prisoner come in. But look, in a movie, just wait ten seconds! Also, it drove Megan and me utterly insane. ("What's with the picture-in-picture?" "It's that whole comic-book thing." "Ohhh... well, it's pissing me off." "Yeah, I hate the split-screen stuff." (screen suddenly splits into 5 parts) "It heard us! It heard us!")
Anyway. Overall, the most consistently incoherent movie I have ever seen. Terrible. Do not, I repeat, do not, go see this movie. You will regret it deeply. And that is all for now.
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Otherwise, well, the HULK animation could have been better, but really it was quite impressive for what it was. AND it had more story and plot than I had come to expect from recent films. Better quality than the average films of the last two years, in fact. Of course, that's not saying much, as it was a pretty poor average.
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If he is, I might be tempted to sit through this utter crap fest. I mean, I saw Spiderman. Let's be honest with ourselves, if you remove Toby McGuire it loses a lot of its luster.
So, is The Hulk like Spiderman, or is it just a really bad movie like 2 Fast 2 Furious?
No, I didn't see that last one. I don't have to. And is it just me, or does it say something about the USA that 2 Fast 2 Furious is number one at the box office as of last week?