letters to my dorm-mates

[elsajeni]

Dear Voice Major Down The Hall Who Is Always Warming Up By Making Bird Noises,

Please warm up inside your goddamned room. I do not want to be forced to stab you.

Love,
The Girl Down The Hall Who You Rightly Suspect Finds You Annoying


Dear Guy Upstairs,

I understand your need to move furniture. Really, I do. But would it be possible to move furniture when it is not the middle of the night? Please look into this possibility.

Many thanks,
The Girl Banging On The Ceiling At One In The Morning


Dear Guy Next Door,

You can't play the guitar. No, really. You can't. Also, it's really fucking obnoxious when you get drunk at football games and cuss out the other school's band. The fact that you didn't know that one of their fellow band members had passed away that morning neither changes nor excuses the fact that you are an asshole. Stop with the guitar. Stop with the booze at football games. Move to Siberia so I will no longer have to coexist with you. I really mean it.

No love at all, and in fact a substantial amount of hate,
The Girl In The MOB Who Had To Apologize To Cougar Band Members For Your Asshole Drunken Behavior

Comments

[masanbol.livejournal.com]

I love you so much.