Oh, also.

[elsajeni]

Why does INSANE keep happening in my apartment?

ZACK: Hee, it's manatee mating season and yesterday a female manatee swam up a river pursued by, like, twelve male manatees.
ME: Hee. *shouts in manatee voice while making manatee flippers with hands and "swimming" away from Zack* NO I DO NOT WANT A BABY MANATEE.
ZACK: *also shouting in manatee voice, also making manatee flippers with hands, "swimming" in hot pursuit* BUT I WANT TO MAKE A BABY MANATEE.
ME: *continuing as above* BUT I DO NOT WANT A BABY MANATEE. ALSO I AM NOT IN THE MOOD.
ZACK: *also continuing* BUT I WANT TO MAKE A BABY MANATEE.
ME: It occurs to me that, if we can hear our upstairs neighbor swearing at his computer, he can probably hear us shouting in manatee voices.
ZACK: I just assume he thinks we're into the most bewildering sexual role-play scenarios in the world.
ME: Hee. You're a manatee furry.
ZACK: Well, so are you.
ME: Am not. I have the soul of a meerkat. That's why I draw the... meerkat... porn? *trailing off because in fact I do not normally draw meerkat porn, and frankly cannot draw well enough to do so even if I especially wanted to*
ZACK: I had no idea you drew meerkat porn.
ME: ... Well, I could if I wanted to.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, WHEN FRIENDS INNOCENTLY WALK INTO OUR APARTMENT

BOB: *talking about something* And then the... why... why are there meerkats having buttsex on your whiteboard?
ME: *excited* Really? They look like meerkats?
BOB: Well, it says they're meerkats. Seriously. *points to the note on the whiteboard labelling the meerkats having buttsex as "MEERKATS, SRSLY"* I would have guessed cats.
REY: I would have gone with tigers.
ZACK: I thought they were tapirs.
ME: They are CLEARLY meerkats, I HATE YOU ALL.