this is a fucking long entry

Well, wow. It's been a hell of a Swuusi. I feel like I should feel worse than I feel at the moment. And, um, I also feel like I should stop saying "feel" so fucking much. And I also definitely need to un-cussify my speech before I go on an extended car trip with parents and grandmother. This is the problem with YRUU stuff. You get into saying-fuck-a-lot mode and then you have to get out of it suddenly when your parents arrive to take you home.

First of all, I should probably mention that Ram and I are broken up, that being the sort of thing people like to know.

Second, um, I'm going to talk about this here before it gets out into the wider world and comes back as rumors... seven people got kicked out of Swuusi for smoking pot. The few major things that bother me:
1. Six of them came forward of their own free will. Those are the people who care about our YRUU community enough to turn themselves in even when they know the consequences. Which makes me feel as if they shouldn't be the ones being punished.
2. Someone's friends are acting like he was a martyr to the cause of Being Allowed To Do Whatever The Fuck We Want At Swuusi. All I have to say about that is, "Ugh."

And I'll be writing about the power shuffle later. Once again an intense experience, with the notable difference that this year I cried for others instead of for myself. Does that mean I've grown up or something? (Well, I also cried for myself, but that's a really different matter. I dealt with several months' or possibly a couple years' worth of hurt in about 20 minutes by doing that. Once again - I will explain later.)

Let me post for you my current summer reading list (set by myself) instead of going into emotional shit, which, as we all know, I do not like going into.
1. Chasm City, Alastair Reynolds (a great cyberpunk novel that I must finish)
2. Le Morte d'Arthur, Thomas Malory (King Arthur, also started but not finished)
3. Idylls of the King, Tennyson (also King Arthur)
4. Dracula, Bram Stoker (Victorian-era trashy paperback)
5. Triplet, Timothy Zahn (cheap sci-fi paperback, but by an author I greatly respect)
6. Cats in Space (an anthology of short stories about, um, cats in space, and yes, it does look terrible)
7. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Robert Heinlein (looks trashy, but well-respected sci-fi author)
8. Octopussy, Ian Fleming (need you ask?)
9. Thunderball, Ian Fleming (again, need you ask?)
10. Final Stage (anthology by various respected sci-fi authors)
11. The Jefferson Bible (bought at Swuusi)
AND, if we can get a drumroll, please...
12. The Ayes of Texas, Daniel da Cruz, which looks like it might be the single worst cheap paperback I've ever read. I'm totally looking forward to it.

whee

All right. Oof. I was going to write a long-as-hell entry about the power shuffle but I just don't have time, I'm leaving tomorrow for a driving odyssey that will take me to Atlanta, Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Champaign-Urbana, and St. Louis all in 2 weeks in a Volvo with my parents and grandmother. I'll just say that it made me want to get to know a lot of people better, I made some efforts in that direction, and via doing this I met a boy that I really, really like. (Well, I'd met him before, but I got to know him.) So... hah. Agh, no, not being childish about whole breakup issue and ability to obtain new boyfriend in rapid manner. Strike that "hah." I am excited, though. I really, really like him.

All right, so I am being a little childish, but not in the same way as the "hah." I feel like a 12-year-old or something. Hee. I'll see you all in two weeks.