Re. the Astros:

Has anyone else noticed that Lance Berkman has no neck? I think that's why he wears that stupid-ass beard: it's a futile attempt to disguise his total lack of neck.

Top of the sixth and still 0-0. OMG SCORE ALREADY, 'STROS!

YEAH!

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!

The entire male population of Martel, plus me, has just spent a good five minutes out on the balconies, bonding by way of screaming "UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!" at each other. It was an incredible amount of noise. Scoreless! In the bottom of the ninth! And they walk Neckless and Kent gets the homer!

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Dear God:

Give me the 'Stros in the World Series and I will dance naked in the streets for joy.

Love, Me