VICTORY

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to stop the Help panel from opening every time I start a new document in Word. I don't need the Help panel. I've been typing documents all by myself since I was 7. If I want the Help panel, I will ask for the Help panel. And indeed, I did ask for the Help panel, in hopes that the Help panel would provide instructions on HOW TO MAKE THE GODDAMN HELP PANEL GO AWAY.

I searched for everything. Nothing was helpful. Nothing. Eventually, I got annoyed and typed "make help GO AWAY" in the search box. Still nothing. So, needless to say, I got pissed off at the thing.

My next search, reproduced here verbatim:

HELP OPENS EVERY GODDAMN TIME I OPEN WORD. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. MAKE IT STOP.

It produced the exact topic I needed.

On the one hand, the Help panel is gone now.

On the other hand, I'm very concerned that someone apparently designed it to do that.