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elsajeniSo, maybe I should add "watch an UNBELIEVABLY BAD horror movie with Zack" to my to-do list and cross it off. That's probably cheating, though, since it's not actually what I intended to do tonight. See, we set out to watch a decent horror movie, that being Firestarter. Unfortunately, Cactus didn't have it. So we decided to alter our quest to finding the worst possible horror movie and renting it.
The summary on the back of the Wendigo box contains the phrase "The Shining meets Deliverance." It was not a difficult choice.
It was... it... honestly, I cannot describe this movie. Any attempt at a review would be hopeless. You should definitely see it, though.
In lieu of a coherent review, I shall provide some quotes from the "Zack and I are dorks who holler at the TV screen a lot" soundtrack:
"OH MY GOD don't go in the SHED!"
*they go in the shed*
"I SAID DON'T... there's nothing in the shed? What the fuck kind of horror movie is this?"
"Hey, it's the mysterious ghostly pharmacist again."
"He's the chemist of the DAAAAAAAMNED!"
"Is that the Wendigo?"
"No, actually. It's a guy in a fursuit."
"THAT? Is a HOT WHEELS PICKUP TRUCK. The cameraman's just standing there and some guy is pushing the HOT WHEELS TRUCK into the frame. I swear."
"... Something's happening! Or something!"
"I think that's what happens when your effects budget is $3.50."
"They bought all their stuff at the dollar store."
"Look, there's the Wendigo fursuit again."
"Case in point."
"Do you think he, like, supplied his own fursuit? He shows up to the audition all, 'So, I happen to already own, for COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL reasons, a big honkin' deer costume.'"
"'It's anatomically correct and everything!'"
"Wait, is that it?"
"It can't be."
*credits*
"Wait, that's the end?"
The summary on the back of the Wendigo box contains the phrase "The Shining meets Deliverance." It was not a difficult choice.
It was... it... honestly, I cannot describe this movie. Any attempt at a review would be hopeless. You should definitely see it, though.
In lieu of a coherent review, I shall provide some quotes from the "Zack and I are dorks who holler at the TV screen a lot" soundtrack:
"OH MY GOD don't go in the SHED!"
*they go in the shed*
"I SAID DON'T... there's nothing in the shed? What the fuck kind of horror movie is this?"
"Hey, it's the mysterious ghostly pharmacist again."
"He's the chemist of the DAAAAAAAMNED!"
"Is that the Wendigo?"
"No, actually. It's a guy in a fursuit."
"THAT? Is a HOT WHEELS PICKUP TRUCK. The cameraman's just standing there and some guy is pushing the HOT WHEELS TRUCK into the frame. I swear."
"... Something's happening! Or something!"
"I think that's what happens when your effects budget is $3.50."
"They bought all their stuff at the dollar store."
"Look, there's the Wendigo fursuit again."
"Case in point."
"Do you think he, like, supplied his own fursuit? He shows up to the audition all, 'So, I happen to already own, for COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL reasons, a big honkin' deer costume.'"
"'It's anatomically correct and everything!'"
"Wait, is that it?"
"It can't be."
*credits*
"Wait, that's the end?"
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Date: 2005-04-09 05:54 am (UTC)