all right, ONE more update

I have no self-control, I just love writing in this thing :) Exhibitionist tendencies perhaps? Whatever, I just had to write in it once more.

Ugh, would it be a bad thing for me to go running back to Katy? (Don't actually answer that, the answer is obviously yes.) I don't think I'm actually going back to her... but she's a friend and she's someone who's willing to put up with my occasional bursts of post-relationship weirdness. (For example, getting up and hiding a black velvet rose Summer gave me before any relationship stuff began, then getting back up and getting it out, then hiding it again, etc... I drove Katy insane doing that in front of her over and over for about 15 minutes last night.) I get cynical after breakups, I can't help it. (No, that had no connection to the rest of that paragraph, it was just something I've been thinking about today.)

By the way, these past 2 weeks definitely take the gold medal for Weirdest Relationship of my Life. Many years from now I will get into weird relationships and ask myself, "Is this weirder than that thing with Summer in high school?" and the answer will probably be no.

So... she had to mention the platypus. It's a very cute thing really, probably a little bigger than life-sized. It's got a lot to do with Ram... I can't quite explain it but the idea of a platypus connected with me, and an armadillo connected with him, is in a weird way an important part of our relationship. Oh God, that made NO sense at all.

Hmm. For anyone who has read her journal I want to make it clear that of course she didn't set out to hurt me; unfortunately that's something that tends to happen in breakups regardless of intentions. So... I appreciate the sentiment but tough, it happens anyway. (As I said I get cynical and weird after breakups. And jaded, Katy wants me to add. She's probably right.)

Anyways. Eek, I'm supposed to be somewhere in... 16 minutes. I guess this is enough for one entry, though now of course I've raised emotional issues that my audience (what is it now, 3 people?) will be wondering about. Good, a cliffhanger. Next episode, end of June.

honestly the last one, I promise

Yeah, yeah, I know. I keep saying it's the last update for a while... I just wanted to add one thing in response to Summer's journal.

Over the past few years I've become awfully good at hiding my emotions; if the biggest ass in the world devoted 4 years of his life to doing everything he could think of to make you cry, you'd learn not to, too. Unfortunately, the side effect of that is that it's hard for me to show emotions when I want to. So, basically, what I have to say is that apparent indifference on my part isn't always the same as real indifference. (No, this isn't some desperate attempt to un-end the relationship; just a clarification really.)

Summer: I know it seems like I'm avoiding you but I'm really not, I've just had complicated schedule and stuff. I'll talk to you when I have a chance.

This really is the last time. REALLY. Because I'm leaving the house at 5:30 tomorrow morning, and I'm getting off and going to bed now.